Warning: This topic is triggering for many people, please do not read if you are easily triggered
So, I know that they're not going to see any of this, but if anyone knows the Supernatural cast please tell them that they're one of the only reasons I'm still alive anymore. I want to die half of the time, and I'm currently at school. So, these people are making fun of me, I'm on the verge of a panic attack, I want to just cry it all out and get a knife to cut myself with, but I don't have any by me, plus I'm in the middle of classes. Okay, so I need to talk about this and I just want to get this all out. So, I really wanted to thank them, they've gotten me through some really tough times, like when I first figured out about my depression. The show came out when I was having a rough time in my life, and I was watching it over and over again, and no matter how many times I watched it, I always loved it so, so much! I loved how well that the actors conveyed the emotions, and I would watch the funny scenes because I loved those so much, I would laugh and cry with them. My family and friends began yelling at me about smiling and making references. So, soon later in life when Season four came out was about when I figured out about my depression and all these other things that make me so broken and screwed up. I would rewatch the gag reels and everything over and over again, I loved the characters so much, and I loved the actors more. They were always so kind and funny, watching the scenes that they filmed beautifully. Uh, I've always really wanted to meet them, tell them about how much they've helped me through everything by just existing. They are kind, I'll just put how each of the four main actors (Jared, Jensen, Misha, and Mark) have helped me.
Jared: He is kind, just like all of them, he showed us that you can suffer from any mental illness and still be able to get back up. I always found it funny how tall he was and how he embraced those moose puns and jokes that everyone said about him. He is an amazing actor, never being rude to anyone that he could have so easily told to shut up, since his size is rather intimating, but he never did and listened to the problems of the cast and helped them through it. Apparently he suffered through depression during filming Season 2 and still was so kind to everyone and didn't want to make anyone worried about him. He's so great, I highly doubt he'll ever give up. Always keep fighting! (In his words)
Jensen: I heard that apparently he was really shy, I guess that's pretty relate-able for me. I'm too shy to walk over to these people and tell them that they're idiots that I want to die more than I want myself to die. I guess, he's just such a good role model just like all the other cast members. I don't really understand how he, and all the cast members, still have so much faith in humanity... It's so easy to give up on everybody, I pretty much already have, I give up about it. He's taught me that if you put your heart into anything you can achieve what it is. He's a great actor with amazing hair, but (sorry) no where near as amazing as Jared's fabulous flowing hair.
Misha: I haven't quite decided, but he's probably the one that has helped me the most, probably just because of how he acts. Telling everyone that normal is terrible and weird is unique. Honestly, he's the one that's helped me the most, just acting like he does and not letting any person's comments phase him. He's just so kind, I really love to watch the gag reels he's in, heck, I love all the gag reels, but how he doesn't care if anyone thinks of him. That's gold, that's how we all aspire to be and act like. Heck, you find him, or any of the Supernatural cast, as role models and trying to be like them, well, they would want you to be more like you. I find that priceless.
Mark: I find him awesome, with his accent and how he embraces that accent. That's helped me quite a bit, I have apparently a British accent and get made fun of for that, I just love how he doesn't care if people do make fun of him for it. He's great at playing his character like everyone is and during some photo shoots with the other cast members he's just standing off to the side like "Idiot Americans" I find that awesome. He really fits his character in my (Humble) opinion and I really never thought I'd get this attached, but how he plays the character is perfect. He's pretty funny during panels and Q&A sessions, kind to anyone who is brave enough to ask him something.
I could go on, writing give or take a paragraph about each and every one of the actors, telling about how they've helped me through rough times, because all the actors have in someway. I'm always so happy to be able to watch the show over and over again, it helps, a ton. For example of how it's helping me currently, I just preformed at a talent show at my university, and I was really happy despite nearly having a panic attack on stage, but I manged to fight my way through it, and I was coming down from the stage, all happy, I was really smiling, I thought I did well. So, apparently one of my close friends (Whose house I'm staying at and she let my brother stay at) dragged my brother along. He said that my singing sucked right as I was sitting beside one of my friends to continue watching the talent show, and I just excuse myself once my brother leaves and I go and cry, what does he think would happen!? So, later he apologizes, and just... Ughh! So I just say I except it and go into my room, I am now currently watching Supernatural, the episode that Charlie comes in at, and I'm just so happy because I love their acting and I love Felicia's character and, it's just awesome. It helps cheer me up. I wish I could tell the cast how much they've helped me, because they have.
Listening to: Three Days Grace; Time of Dying
Eating: I don't even know, I found it in my friends fridge